


Fear

by Niall_Princess_Horan



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Comforting Harry Styles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad Niall, comforting louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 07:02:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13230453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niall_Princess_Horan/pseuds/Niall_Princess_Horan
Summary: Despite the fact two of my best friends are seriously invading my personal space, I've never felt more alone.





	Fear

Niall pov

I frown in my sleep and reach out with a hand to find liam. I search around for a minute before frowning and opening an eye to see where he is. He isn't there. Probably gone for a run but just in case... "Liam! I want cuddles" I shout, adding an extra dose of whining in my voice. It gets to him, meaning I definitely get cuddles.

He doesn't answer me so I sigh then groan and roll off the bed. I land on the floor on my bum and sigh before crawling to the bathrrom. I'm sooo not a morning person. I have a wee and wash my hands with dove soap before heading downstairs for a coffee.

I make it black to try and wake me up for when Tommo and Hazza come ground ready for the football game we're going to. I put away the few cups on the draining board and put the forms back in the draw before wiping the units down with a cloth. As I'm doing that i notice a note with Liams writing of my name on the front. I roll my eyes at his dramatics. He can't just text me like a normal person, has to go all Romeo and Juliet.

I unfold the price of paper but instead of seeing a "gone to the gym". There's a letter. A full on letter. With paragraphs and punctuation and my name written at the top of the page. I frown and sit on the stool with my coffee before reading it.

Niall,

I'm not really sure how to begin this letter, but I think a good starting point is the begining. Beginning of us that is. When I first met you at the seaside 7 years and 3 months ago I was nervous. I was scared of mess everything up, scared you'd realise how amazing you were and that you deserved so much more than I could give you. Alas you didn't and we became great friends. I was there when you broke your arm at the rugby game, you weren't even playing we were just there to watch, but no one insults The Blue Rhinos.

I was there when your parents divorced and you cried for weeks thinking they didn't love you any more. You were so confused and kept blaming yourself even though it was nothing you did. If I could have convinced 16 year old niall that, it would have made my year.

You were there when I broke up with Sophia and you let me crash at your house whilst we sorted out the mortgage on our house. You were there when Mr Sir died and you even let me bury him in your garden.

"I hated that fucking bird" I laugh and keep reading.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, we were always great friends- and then we became more. We got closer and closer and I was scared again. I was scared I'd mess everything up and 5 years into our relationship later I'm still scared of that.

I was watching you this morning. While you slept. I've done it for a few weeks now. Whether it's reassurance for me that you're still here or to admire your beauty whilst you're the most vulnerable, I'm not sure. But I do it anyway.

I noticed how the morning rays dance over your shoulders and back whilst your arms are buried under the pillow your head never seems to be on. It's always next to the pillow or you have the pillow laid on your chest like a baby you're protecting. I've always found it adorable the way you smush your face into the mattress and hold onto the sheet with both fists to keep yourself grounded. I love your eyes and the way they dance with emotion even when you try to hide your feelings. I love the sound of your laugh, the way it makes me want to laugh too and throw away all my worries. 

Lately, I've found myself wondering, thinking about us. Thinking about the time you got arrested for punching that guy in the face for calling me fit. The jealously you radiate at times is daunting.

I pick up on how you talk a lot and and how you're always right no matter what I say. I remember how selfish you can be at times. I notice your squishy tummy and your untoned thighs. I've been noticing how much you've let yourself go. Your hair isn't fully blonde anymore just frosted at the tips and your fitness is going down hill. I know that's due to your knee and the scar is always going to be there but it's like you use it as an excuse not to do anything active or productive.

I can't help but pick up on how loud your laugh is or how you never say pardon after you fart. It's taken a while to come to this niall but i think, we should call it a day.

"No" I whimper as I read over the last line again and again. I cover my mouth with my fist and bite into my fingers as the tears fall down my face. This note started so lovely. Why is he doing this to me?!? I screw up the piece of paper and launch it across the kitchen just as Louis and Harry let themselves in.

"Nialler!! Ready to watch Derby lose but get wasted anyway??" He laughs as he enters the kitchen. He stops laughing as soon as he sees my tear stained face and comes rushing over.

"What happened? Babe what's going on?" He soothes as he pulls me in for a cuddle.  
"He's- he's lef' me" I whisper, hiding my face in Louis neck and soaking his t-shirt in the tears that won't stop falling.

"What? Oh my god Babe!" He snaps and holds me even tighter.  
"Did he say why?" Harry frowns as he rubs my back slowly with one of his giant hands.  
 I look up slightly and nod to the piece of paper in a ball on the floor. I see Harry frown and pick up the ball of paper, opening it out before reading it silently.

"I didn't read all of it"I whisper.  
"Where did you get up to?" He asks softly.  
"When he said we-we should c-call it a day" I stutter.  
"Well maybe the rest of it is more cheery. Haz?" Louis reasons and I see Harry shaking his head slowly as he reads it.

"What does it say?" I whisper.  
"Niall-" he starts and I know he's going to do the whole 'you should read this on your own. It's personal' thing but I can't bring myself to read it. So cut him off and beg "-please"

He sighs but complies and reads the letter.

"It's taken a while to come to this niall but i think, we should call it a day. At the end of the day I can't explain it. It's strange but, I don't feel anything anymore. I don't look at you and think 'He's my world. Or he's my future'. I look at you and think, well that's just it. I just guess, i don't know how to finish that sentence anymore.

I'm not sure how or when or why but I think over the past few weeks I've come to notice all your flaws and all your different personality traits and I don't know.

I've now come to realise, through no fault of either of ours, that I don't love you anymore." 

Harry finishes and that's when I finally breakdown. To the point I slide off the chair and onto the floor. I curl up into a ball as my head starts pounding and my vision goes blurry and my nose is running. I don't hear anything. It's like white noise in my ears. A piercing screech that won't shut up, so I cover my ears with my hands and sob. 

I feel Louis sit on the floor behind me and pulls me face first into his chest where I bury my face and cry all over him again. Once again Harry is rubbing my back gently and despite the fact two of my best friends are seriously invading my personal space...

... I've never felt more alone.


End file.
